Driver Splashes Feces on Himself to Escape Police, Hides in Toilet

head in toilet

Illustration. Image source: doobious.org

A Longview Washington man decided to bathe in a bucket of human feces to try and elude police officers. Gordon Flavia, the 56 year-old poop-covered man, was taken to the hospital after he backed his car into a condominium carport.

He apparently was so freaked out about the legal consequences of drinking and driving that he ducked into a nearby portable toilet to hide.

Flavia told police that he splashed himself with the human waste “because he thought the dogs were coming, and he was trying to throw off the scent,” said Police Sgt. Doug Kazensky.

“It looks like alcohol was involved,” Longview police Sgt. Ed Jones said.

Looks like alcohol was involved? Could’ve fooled me.